Gentle reflections on therapy, relationships, personal stories, and life journeys.

How on earth is it December already?

It would appear to be December…

It’s that time of year again when I start asking myself where on earth the year has gone to. I know I’m far from being alone in this experience, so I thought I’d talk about it here a little, just in case any of you can resonate.

I think it has become the new norm: to have so many expectations of us in terms of productivity and ticking off experiences from a never-ending to-do list, that we can never hope to get to the end of it all within the confines of twelve calendar months.

When I had this realisation a few years ago, I decided to start unhooking myself from the stories that were leaving me feeling overwhelmed and unsuccessful, and started setting new standards for myself that feel like they resonate better with who I am and how I want to live my life. This hasn’t, however, made me immune to the seduction of the societal stories around me that tell me I should want to be something different. It’s a very conscious and active process for me to resist getting pulled into those narratives. Read more

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A Mother’s Love – Part 4

Hello there.

It is fabulous to see that you have chosen to join me here for this next instalment of my blog.

If you are new here, I would like to extend a very warm welcome.  I hope you enjoy your time here with me. And if this is a return visit for you, I feel really honoured that you are choosing to journey alongside me again.

In my last instalment I talked to you about insight being the key ingredient needed to form the foundation of lasting positive change.  And in this month’s ramblings, I would like to address the issue of insight and indeed new knowledge alone, being far from enough to make a significant difference.

My choice to make this the focus today, is in part informed by my own journey – I wish someone had highlighted to me early on in my journey that there was a very obvious trap just lying there waiting for me to fall into it (and spoiler, I did).  And, in part, it’s also being prompted by my current client work.  I am finding myself repeating very frequently – do not fall into that hole! Read more

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A mother’s love – Part 3

Hello again fellow journeyer.

As I start my writing today, I find myself wondering how you are, as you meet me on this page and how my words may land with you today.

I am currently sat in my back garden, having constructed a cobbled together laptop shade from my laundry basket, so I can sit outside and enjoy the sunshine, the bountiful green, and the birdsong as I put fingers to keyboard to tell this next part of my story.

I feel, as I am reaching the end of my forty-sixth year on this amazing earth, that although my life is far from being uncomplicated and stress free, I have a much better understanding of myself these days and am able to direct for myself a life that I feel is worth living; well, as much as any of us can.  And me taking time to set up a temporary garden office is a version of me recognising and meeting my own needs.  I am always much calmer and able to think more clearly when I am held by the earth and the sky.   I’m not perfect, but neither do I strive to be.  I have grown to like and really appreciate some messiness in life, it keeps things interesting and keeps me from stagnating, but I try where I can to offer myself something different to what I was accustomed to in my earlier life. Read more

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A mother’s love – part 2

So, last month it felt like I left you very abruptly.

I want to apologise if this caused you any discomfort or frustration.  It was not my intention to end in what felt like the middle of my story, and neither was it my design to leave you on a cliff hanger.

What I realised though, as I was writing and writing, and writing some more and the word count just kept climbing, was that I seemed to have opened up a bit of a flood gate and that the words were pouring out of me at a rate which might end up as a whole book if I didn’t find a place to stop and take a pause. Read more

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A mother’s love

***Trigger warning!!! This post may pose a challenging read for anyone who has experienced abuse, emotional neglect, or more generally experienced a negative relationship with a parent (particularly a mother).

I’m not going to beat about the bush here…

I’m just going to get it out here right away…

This may sound nuts, but these are the words that set me free: Read more

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A Year From the Bin

It’s early, early morning on the 19th March.

I step out of the patio doors at the back of the house and into a frost encrusted garden.  The sun, which is rising to the front of my home, is tinting the world a gentle ochre hue.  It makes my garden look like a scene from a 1980’s photograph.  The sun’s elevation is not quite high enough yet to set the frost a-sparkle, so it gives the garden a slightly faded look which adds to the retro vibe.

I’d like to say that the stillness and quiet is absolute, but I can hear the sounds of the city thrumming away, even at this pre 6am hour, I do live in the suburbs after all.  I haven’t realised my dream of living at the foot of a mountain, yet.  And with this flicker of realisation a little spiral of grief and yearning knot together in my chest.  It is quieter than through the day though, and the sounds of the natural world reach my ears with less interference.  I breathe. The feeling passes. Read more

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Tossing and turning is bad for your health

It is World Sleep Day this Friday, and as sleep is often a highly underestimated factor in maintaining good health, I thought it might be useful to jump on here and have a chat about it.

In this fast paced society that we live in, where we are encouraged to be permanently switched on and productive, it is common for sleep to take a bit of a back seat when it comes to priorities. What we don’t necessarily realise though, is that by doing this, we are training ourselves out of the habit of sleeping well and this can significantly impact our health.

We still don’t know enough about sleep and the role it plays in keeping us well, but what we are learning is that it plays a massive role in helping us to maintain healthy function in all sorts of biological systems, and is not just about getting a little rest to recharge our batteries.

For the purposes of this post though, there is evidence to suggest that it plays a pivotal role in helping us maintain good mental and emotional health, heart health and immune function, so I reckon it’s not to be underestimated.. Read more

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Why is self-care week even a thing?

This week has been self-care week, which depresses me somewhat.

The fact that we need an awareness week to encourage people to take good care of themselves, says something significant about the toxic narratives that we are surrounded by in the Western world (in my mind at least).

The stories of carrying on regardless, pushing through, staying strong in the face of adversity, and not allowing your productivity or efficacy in the world to diminish, despite what you may be experiencing, have long been held up as admirable traits in a person.  And then if you add into the mix that a caring attitude towards others, is one of the most highly prized character traits in a relationship, you have a heady cocktail of narratives. And these stories have had us driving ourselves into the ground, making ourselves sick, and burning out for about as long as they have been around.

But, the tide is turning, slowly. Read more

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Watch where you step

Mindfulness has been a bit of a buzz word in the health and healing sector for many years now.  People have attributed all sorts of spectacular effects to having a regular practice.

Often when people get introduced to the concept of mindfulness, they are thrust straight into a world of meditation and usually come to believe that this is what mindfulness is.  In actual fact, mindfulness is the practice bringing your awareness into the present moment, rather than ten steps in the past or a dozen steps in the future, and this can be done in a number of ways which don’t involve traditional meditation.

I personally love mindful movement in many of its guises, and mindful walking is one of most favourite ways to bring myself into the here and now.  It’s a fabulous way to sharpen my attention on what is currently going on, and get some much-needed movement and nature immersion at the same time.

So, in honour of mindfulness day (12th September 2024), I thought I would share 4 different ways to enjoy mindful walking so that you can give it a try for yourself. Read more

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Greeting the darkness

It’s time to greet the darkness again.

The wheel of the year is turning.  A chill has sneaked into our morning air and August sunshine and carefree summer days will soon be a distant memory.  We are officially heading into the dark half of the year.

This time of year is odd, if you think about it.  If you follow the standard calendar, we are officially three quarters of the way through the year when we reach mid to late September, and yet in our modern lives we also find ourselves on a threshold, at a time of ending and a time of beginning.

Our long, light, busy, adventurous, lazy, hazy summer days are fading behind us. Some of us will grieve their passing.  For me, they are here too short a time so I will be among those numbers.

And, our attention is being called towards our work, and our education; we are being asked to bring new vigour to these spheres of life, whilst at the same time facing a world which is fading into darkness. We are being asked to do something which is largely at odds with the season’s call.

I like to take autumn inspiration from our glorious cousins the trees, the original standing people (we are actually related on an evolutionary scale, we just took a different path in a time so long ago that none of us can remember). Read more

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